United Kingdom

What can you say about a person who goes to England? That he surely goes there for history. Not for the history that has stopped dead in its track in Stonehenge, in St. Paul Cathedral, at Trafalgar square, in numerous pubs, various castles and palaces. Not at all. So what history are we talking about?

Let’s not run ahead of others, but let’s tell what you need for this history. Going to England, read as many books as you can, look through the magazines, watch movies. Take as many stereotypes about Englishmen as go in your suitcase (even if at the airport you have an excess weight). Then during your trip you meet ghosts that you can fight. The better you know Englishmen the less of these fellow travelers you have on your way back (moreover, you certainly go back light).

The traffic in England is left-side. You can use this fact to quieten yourself when you can’t understand some weird things, for example, a girl that comes to the bar in a stretched top that looks like underwear. For this reason refuse the guides and excursions – let yourself travel in England in the direction and with the speed you like.

Curiously enough, but England gives you an opportunity to be yourself. Because no one looks askew at a girl in a nightdress or at kissing men with orange nails. Save up comfortable shoes, because you can freely walk along the quay, beaches and parks. Look in an encyclopedia and learn what squirrels eat (if you don’t know that), because squirrels in park like to perch on tourists’ shoulders. If you follow these small advices, when you come back home and someone asks: “So how was the Foggy Albion?” you tell your own English story.

P.S. Of course, you might want to add pictures to your story. If you want to use a professional photographer’s services, you’ll be happy to hear that it’s rather easy to find one in England. There is only one rule – arrange everything in advance; remember they have left-side traffic.